Limericks

Limericks are five line poems that make use of a complicated sounding strict meter to produce short, often witty or humorous, poems. The form was popularized by Edward Lear in the 19th century, and is considered to only be good if obscene.

Here are some examples I found on this website: 

There was an Old Man with a beard,
Who said, 'It is just as I feared!
Two Owls and a Hen,
Four Larks and a Wren,
Have all built their nests in my beard!'


There was an Old Man in a tree,
Who was horribly bored by a Bee;
When they said, 'Does it buzz?'
He replied, 'Yes, it does!'
'It's a regular brute of a Bee!'


There was an Old Man on a hill,
Who seldom, if ever, stood still;
He ran up and down,
In his Grandmother's gown,
Which adorned that Old Man on a hill.


The blog was on Happy Thinking
About a man who had taken up drinking
He's mad and a fool 
And a sweaty pustule
Whose sanity surely is sinking.




This Man was a total sad-sack
Whose passwords are easy to crack
Whether true or not
This is not worth a jot
It'd be best if you were all turning back


There was a Young Man with a blog
Who was lost in a terrible Fog
He was asked "Who are you?"
But he had not a clue
And was ever lost in the fog.




Sincerely-

Lemons

Does anyone know where I can find life's manager? Because Portal references are hilarious and are totally keeping my mind from this current situation. God they're just trying to help stop it. But how is anyone supposed to help?
See I wasn't joking when I said that lemons would be the next entry because while lemons themselves are not too happy they are yellow, which is a happy colour, and they clean things, and you can make lemonade and sherbert lemons and lemon meringue pie. You don't even like meringue. 

Lemons are a key ingredient in many dishes across the world and probably entered European consciousness in the first century AD. It probably came from a hybrid between the sour orange and le citron ohoho. 

Christopher Columbus introduced lemons to America in 1493.

Lemons have a use in aromatherapy as a mood enhancer, and are anti-bacterial due to their low pH.   

the halls are empty but for blood and the equipment we were supposed to use but I can't think about it or I'll end up like Ed. hide my pleas and laugh because otherwise I'm dead.

There was a restraining order you know, dad. 

See, not mad, I fixed it.

You see guys, I've been busy lately. Really really busy. Busy bee! Maybe the next post will be about bees haha~ oh god Because you see I had to try and clean up the blood because it's still all over the walls and if the faceless guy in the nice suit comes over for tea, well, he's going to be very put off. Nothing like an unclean home or prison to put someone off their tea. I mean it's so messy here, messy messy messy. So I had to fix it all up! All the blood off the walls. It was all over the kitchen. Ed wasn't very neat when he shot himself. He had two kids, he told me that he had two kids, and that his wife died and he was their only caretaker. But he had to shoot himself, you see, because it's only polite to kill yourself before the man comes. But his blood got all over the kitchen. Lysol didn't get it out and neither did the lemon soapy water or the bleach which really hurt my hands and I got chemical burns but then I tried the wire scrubbing brush and that didn't work either.

And then Ed was outside the window he was outside the window. Well I told him to not be outside the window, reason being, he is dead. My hands were all burned  and he said I could get rid of the blood if I cut the skin off my hands, so I tried it with my left hand it hurt worse why did I do it fuck. Anyway I've been busy since that only made more blood everywhere everyone is dead.

Next post will be about bees! Or soap. Or maybe even lemons! XD :D D D D ddddddfc  or there won't be another post god please help me someone please...

Smile

Smiling is the action of turning the corners of your mouth up, and it has many health benefits. Smiling relieves stress, boosts your immune system, lowers your blood pressure, releases endorphins, pain killers, and serotonin, and creates what is called the 'halo effect' which increases trust in others and aids interpersonal relationships.

Laughter is a response to stimuli that serves as an emotional balancing mechanism. Laughter is one of the only universal constants in language. It probably came about as a warning, evolutionarily; it was a way for early humans and the like to signal less than serious injuries. To say that someone got hurt, but it's not serious and it was their fault anyway, so no need to help, they'll pick themselves up. Laughter is needed for human survival since scientists think it is integral to the limbic system.

Positive psychology is the study of happiness and how people can be happy and what happiness is and if happiness is actually anything, I mean, what are emotions anyway. Stepping blocks. Blocks in the way. Locked doors. Keep the doors locked. Do not open the door.

It's odd, you know, all through childhood, you're told to be curious, to open doors, to read and learn and talk, just not to strangers, but what if the man isn't a stranger, or what if mommy introduces you to the man, and you're trying to resist it because you're a kid and despite what they might say kids can tell when it's wrong, but mother says he's safe and he's good and daddy says go with him, learn, discover, explore, what then? Do not open the door. Ignorance is strength. I hated Big Brother. I was an Orwell fan in high school. Down with the man, fuck the system, transparency, all of that. And I still want to believe that if only the truth was out there everything would be okay. But keep the door locked. Please.

I keep lying to myself and hoping it'll work.

Still can't sleep.

I'm not mad, I'm not, I'm not.

I'm happy and calm and I'm not scared or angry or sad, I'm happy. Happy as can be.

You lied again, you keep telling me that lie.

I'm not mad. Honestly.

But you keep telling me I am. Maybe I am.

But I saw outside. I saw the dark. I saw him. He was there.

But you'd think that if you were crazy. Wouldn't you?

I don't want to be mad.

I don't want to be alone.

This Little Piggy Stayed At Home

The conversation, as far as I can remember, went like this:

"40 acres firebombed," the pustule infested swine said, almost bouncing with enthusiasm as if he could feel joy. "Now we just drop down the facility and away you all go."

I glared at him.

"Well," he admitted with a grin and a wink, like a con man or a gameshow host stage whispering details about the 'big deal' or the 'chance of a life time', "We had to nuke it on top of the firebombing to keep it contained, you know? The radiation'll probably give you cancer, but it's not like you'll live to appreciate it."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"I loathe you. I love to see you suffer. And in any case, nobody'll believe you, even if your thoughts don't kill you first."

As far as I can remember that's what he said.

But I can't be sure.

Pandas!

Pandas! How could you not be happy looking at pandas! They're so cute and fluffy and silly and playful!

 The panda has become almost a symbol for China and shows up a lot on its coins, alongside dragons. Which is pretty epic. They live mostly on the lowlands and eat a lot of bamboo.

 Pandas! I mean how could they not keep you happy?

 Pandas! Unless you start thinking about them being killed and how there are only like three thousand left and even if they're on the rise there's not enough certainty for them to be moved from endangered to vulnerable. And how they can't adapt so they'll probably die out despite best efforts to the contrary. Yes. Don't think about that. Just think about how cute they are now..

 yeah.

Balloons!

Balloons are today's topic! Aren't they happy and zappy and bright? Balloons are really cool and really useful, used in meteorology, military defense and transportation, but I'll mostly be using pictures of happy rubber balloons.

Balloons can really brighten things up, can't they? They were most likely invented as a side effect of experiments to do with gases by Michael Faraday in 1824, and early balloons were made out of pig bladders!! Modern balloons are made of Latex which is apparently a vegetable.

The bang made when a balloon bursts is actually the sound of the latex popping back to it's pre-inflated size at the speed of sound.

In conclusion balloons are very pretty and colourful.

Not gonna take it

Fuck, they're outside my window again. No, I'm not going to join you, stay away from the window. George, stay away from the window.

I'm typing because how else is anyone going to hear the screaming? How else are you going to know, dad, that this is your damn fault.

I know I can beat this, I'm smart enough, that's why I'm here, right? Or was it just because I was never good enough for you, dad? If I had been better, if I had been worthy of your great, fantastic goddamn perfectness, would you have done this to me? Oh god you monster, you're as bad as they are. No, you're worse, dad, you're worse, because they got twisted and they didn't have a choice and their blood is on your hands and you've always had a choice you black and contorted corkscrew of a hellion, you sick, terrible, horrible entity. I hate you dad I hate you you you

I'm happy so happy 

The world is full of enough grotesquely cute and obsessively happy things to stave you away and to keep me happy, dad. The monster can't get me nothing is ever gonna get me again because I'm so goddamn happy, you hear me? So HAPPY. 

It's them. Again. Infection, I can taste it. Oh god. They aren't what they are, beckoning me to come and play, but I don't want to, it's not time. Please don't let me be that, god fuck christ no.

I can beat this, I'm stronger than this, I'll fucking show you I that am.

Puppiessss

lloook at themmm so cute ssuch cutte annimmals

do theey not ressstore your faith the world is okayy