I tried. I really did. you're a little black sheep come into the fold, come into the fold, come
into the fold, come into the fold
But I can't try anymore. I can't sleep, there's no food, there's no water, no air. ran out of morphine yesterday. I saw Amy outside. and there's no knight to be found to battle with the white king. I'm not a piece on the board, I'm a carcass. A meal. Nothing. Trying to smile, but I'm dead and it's not going to work anymore. Just spent so long trying to smile, trying to keep my chin up, but it doesn't work. Nothing works. I thought it was working. Just keep yourself smiling, happy, keep his thoughts out and happy thoughts in. it didn't work.
poor little lost lamb come into the fold
Dad didn't want it to work anyway. He wants me to die, it's why I'm out here. dead innocent people, on the dollar of some of the richest and most powerful people in the world. and I watched them scream. John from California, he was a plumber, he made less than minimum wage because he worked out of a poor neighbourhood, or Cathrine who was a mom and didn't have any reason to be out here apart from a blood test and a psych test and the promise of a reward. and the reward was someone else's life. Her daughter's life. His brother's life. My lover's life. we don't even know if it was worth it. They died, took their own lives. And I took some of them, I didn't want to, but the blood, and the screaming, and the ones who are outside and tapping and nobody deserved going outside. there was this guy and I'm all alone now the walls closing in and I had to stay happy I drew on the walls I had to stay happy forever and ever or he'll keep me for eternity and who knows what he'll do to me. who knows what he'll do to me.
come into the fold
it's not going to stop. You all know that. it's getting faster. The tempo is gettingfaster. the corners are closing. the dark corners of the earth are getting closer and darker, he is digging his roots in and we cannot stop it. he has you already. at the back of your head, that ticking is speeding up. innocent people are dead. smile or you are dead. or you're dead anyway. all the pretty songs, all the little dances. they're playing outside. and I saw the tall man upstairs. that's why this is the end. he's coming to me, or I'm going to him. and I'm going to him. You win, dad. I'm dead. and I'm going to die lonely, hungry, thirsty, tired, sick, angry, sad, and unhappy. You win. My name is Charlie Green and I changed my life to get away from you and you still beat me. I spent three years working with Doctors without Borders to get away from you and you still beat me. I smiled and I was kind and I did all I could to get away from you and you still beat me. Congratulations. have a balloon. does love matter to you? Did it ever matter? Or is that why you've stripped everything from me. I'm going to die unloved. I'm going to die. but this is it.
it's dark outside, and grey, and there are trees. big ones, with twisted roots, and eyes that peer out of the fog. and there are shadows outside. they look like people I knew. I can't tell if that's my mind or what reality is now. isn't my mind what reality is? tapping on the window pane, don't you want to come outside Charlie? it hurts out here, but at least that's something. and there are plenty of people. go and play, Charlie. you will scream, but your voice will be with others, together forever in agony. or maybe not. go on, Charlie, let him into your head. but he's already inside my head.
will keep you
I'm sorry I didn't survive. Ad- no. Never mind. I'm sorry. time to go I think. sunshine and roses and raindrops and kittens and blood and gone