Not gonna take it

Fuck, they're outside my window again. No, I'm not going to join you, stay away from the window. George, stay away from the window.

I'm typing because how else is anyone going to hear the screaming? How else are you going to know, dad, that this is your damn fault.

I know I can beat this, I'm smart enough, that's why I'm here, right? Or was it just because I was never good enough for you, dad? If I had been better, if I had been worthy of your great, fantastic goddamn perfectness, would you have done this to me? Oh god you monster, you're as bad as they are. No, you're worse, dad, you're worse, because they got twisted and they didn't have a choice and their blood is on your hands and you've always had a choice you black and contorted corkscrew of a hellion, you sick, terrible, horrible entity. I hate you dad I hate you you you

I'm happy so happy 

The world is full of enough grotesquely cute and obsessively happy things to stave you away and to keep me happy, dad. The monster can't get me nothing is ever gonna get me again because I'm so goddamn happy, you hear me? So HAPPY. 

It's them. Again. Infection, I can taste it. Oh god. They aren't what they are, beckoning me to come and play, but I don't want to, it's not time. Please don't let me be that, god fuck christ no.

I can beat this, I'm stronger than this, I'll fucking show you I that am.